Swift to Hear

The department of English at Purdue University published the following list of what you ought not to be if you want to be a good listener:

• Mind reader.  You’ll hear little or nothing as you think, “What is this person really thinking or feeling?”
• Rehearser.  Your mental tryouts for “Here’s what I’ll say next” tune out the speaker.
• Filterer.  Some call this selective listening—hearing only what you want to hear.
• Dreamer.  Drifting off during a face-to-face conversation can lead to an embarrassing, “What did you say?” or, “Could you repeat that?”
• Identifier.  If you refer everything you hear to your experience, you probably didn’t really hear what was said.
• Comparer.  When you get side-tracked assessing the messenger, you’re sure to miss the message.
• Derailer.  Changing the subject too quickly soon tells others you’re not interested in anything they have to say.
• Sparrer.  You hear what’s said but quickly belittle it or discount it.  That puts you in the same class as the derailer.
• Placater.  Agreeing with everything you hear just to be nice or to avoid conflict does not mean you’re a good listener.

Being a good listener is key to Christian living.  James wrote, “…be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (Jas. 1:19).

Christians must listen as they spread the gospel of Christ.  In the book of Acts there are numerous examples of evangelists who were successful because they began teaching at the level of the student’s understanding.  For example, when Philip encountered the Ethiopian Eunuch, he did not begin with the Creation account or Moses, but began with the Scripture the eunuch was reading and “told him the good news about Jesus” (Acts 8:35).  This important method should be continued today, but how can any teacher gauge his student’s knowledge if he is not listening?

Christians must listen as they communicate with one another.  Think about the last conversation you had with a brother or sister in Christ.  Who did the most talking?  Do you remember inquiring about the other person’s life—his family, his job, his problems?  More harmony could be encouraged in the church through an application of Paul’s principle, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:4).

Christians must listen as they communicate with their spouses.  Peter advised husbands, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…” (1 Pet. 3:7).  But many husbands violate this command by not paying attention to what their wives are saying.  The problem can also work in the other direction, as some wives are in the habit of shutting their husbands out.  Good marriages last through loving communication.

God gave us two ears and one mouth.  Maybe it’s time we stop overworking one part of the body so that we can get more use out of another.